Imperfect
by AngieHope
Summary: So many things have changed over the years. Her feelings, her friends, none of it were the same and yet he was. A story of struggle and about finding your place in the world of shinobi.


A/T. This is my very first story! And I'd also like to state that I have no idea when the next chapter is going to be done, but I'm working on it. Thanks to Aya my editor and for her support no matter how much she dislikes the paring herself XD

Feel free to review.

So please enjoy and let the madness begin!

* * *

She would have cried if she could. She would have stomped of out of the room if her feet would move. She would have screamed if her lungs and throat would let her. But she couldn't. She was paralyzed, she was chocked, she was astounded and she was hurt.

She forced her feet to move and walked out the door and didn't look back. When she made it outside in the pouring rain she cried. She sobbed and let the warm tear run down her cheeks, let the rain wash them away and let her feet take her home.

She'd hurt him. She'd made that glow in his ocean blue eyes disappear. He didn't understand why she had done it. Maybe he didn't want to. Denial seemed to fill him up, every time she hurt herself or _him_. They both knew why it had to be like this; but somehow he didn't accept it, and it made her angry, furious and oh so sad.

It had started months ago and it was still going on. She wanted it to stop, she _had_ said stop time after time, but when that glow in his eyes lit up like a fire, she couldn't resist. That was their problem. They couldn't be lovers and team-mates at the same time. He didn't mind, he would treat her like he always had on missions. He'd just flash a big toothy grin and tell her he'd take care of everything.

But she couldn't pretend as if nothing had happened between them. She was surprised that _he_ was able to. But then again he was the number one surprising ninja in the village.

He would just smile and call her 'Sakura-chan' and everything would be all right, if only for a while.

It had all started one night many months ago. She hadn't expected anything, nor had she known how that night would change her life forever.

* * *

Sakura had been working at the hospital all week. There had only been two major critical patients, but other than that it had been pretty quiet. Today nothing had happened. There were no patients and the patients at the hospital we're all stabile.

Sakura had been stuck doing paperwork all day. Old charts and journals were being filled out and she was getting a cramp in her hand.

When the day was over she was looking forward to a night out with her friends. She left the hospital and started walking home when something caught her attention. A single quick flash of yellow passed before her eyes and before she could react she was pulled into something solid.

"Hi, Sakura-chan!" Said an all too familiar and happy voice.

"Hi, Naruto," she said in a friendly tone which she reserved for only him. He grinned at her and tightened his grip on her waist.

"I haven't seen you for days. How've you been?" She asked him and mentally scolded him for surprising her like that.

"Ha-ha! Sakura-chan I've been on a mission with Sasuke! We had to find this guy's wife, to see if she was cheating and so-" He kept talking and she listened. They started walking and he kept on talking. His voice seemed to be the only thing that mattered at the moment and his presence filled her up.

They walked like this for a while, until they were standing in front of her apartment. He stopped walking and just then she noticed that he was holding her hand. She blushed a bit and let go of it. She couldn't bring herself to scold him, not yet.

"Ino and the others are having a party at the bar later on… You wanna come?" She asked and suddenly her stomach started to twist and knot. What was it about him that made her this way?

He stood still for a moment, his eyes thoughtfully closed, as if he was thinking it over more than he needed to. The corner of his mouth twisted into a wide grin and he opened his eyes, and they lit up with that familiar glow it overwhelmed her, yet again.

"Hehe of course I will Sakura-chan! I'll pick you up at 7!" He said and shut his eyes and he gave her another toothy grin. She smiled at him and wondered where he got his energy from. He'd been on a mission, travelled for hours on end and yet he came over to her and was ready for a night out. He never stopped amazing her, even after all these years.

She smiled in return and touched his hand for a short second. He noticed and a little blush crept across his face. "Thanks Naruto… I'll see you at 7, well I'll see you later…" She said and started walking up the stairs to her apartment.

* * *

She slipped into her shower and let the water cool her off. Today hadn't been tough, but when it was, a shower was the best way to cure it. She waited until the water turned cold to get out. She kept thinking about that afternoon, and how Naruto had seemed to act much more touchy-feely with her lately. He had always been cheery, but lately it seemed majority of it was directed towards her. But the weird thing about it was that she didn't mind. Maybe it was spending years with each other, him being her go-to-guy when she needed to a shoulder to cry on, he was the one who brought Sasuke home, he was simply one of her best friends, if not _the _best.

She dried herself in her towel and started getting dressed. They were saying goodbye to Tenten since she had to leave for a very long mission. She put on her black cocktail dress with matching black sandals. Sakura had never cared about her look as much as Ino had. She was a medical ninja after all; she had to be practical not good looking on the battlefield. But somehow Ino could do both. It wasn't fair, but it was Ino. She always got the attention from other men; her body looked amazing, she was smart, funny and stylish. Compared to her, Sakura felt like a twelve year old girl again.

But Sakura had been trained by Tsunade-sama; she was second after the Hokage herself in terms of strength and medic care, she had always been much smarter than Ino, she had great friends and plus she had sex with Sasuke. That last part was something Ino didn't know and Sakura wasn't planning on telling her at all. It had been a mistake; he had made that clear to her. Somehow their last countless encounters seemed to be the lit that closed her box of feeling for Sasuke. She'd needed to get her suspicions confirmed, did he love her, did _she _really love him, or was it simply a teenage crush that happened to be way over due?

It was in fact the latter. The truth had hurt at first; she'd spend so much of her life chasing after a boy who didn't even love her in that way. But after a week of crying on Naruto's shoulder, eating too much ice cream and reading too many sappy love stories, she'd realised that it had only lasted for so long, he didn't love her like that and neither did she.

Naruto didn't understand why she'd been crying, he just sat by her and comforted her for as long as he could do until she stopped crying and pressed her forehead against his and whispered, "_Thank you…"_

He just smiled and had pulled her into a loving hug and just held her that way.

That had been a year ago. Sasuke had come back after succeeding in killing his brother. He'd been a mess; he'd been covered in blood, and Naruto, who had been carrying him, was covered in blood as well. He wasn't able to speak for nearly two months and when he did, all he wanted to know was, if Itachi was dead.

He'd let his anger out on her, let his frustrations out on her, and let his darkness and his emptiness out on her. She needed to feel something – anything from him. She'd loved him all along, so it was fitting for him to be her first.

It wasn't romantic; it was just lust and a need to feel something. He'd come to her a few months after he was released from the hospital and said he wanted to talk. She invited him in and he kissed her. From that point on they ended up in her bed and she could have sworn he smiled. Not a smirk or a half hearted smile, but a genuine one. He thanked her and kissed her lovingly afterwards. But he didn't stay. He came back, time after time for a year and although she begged him to stay, he never did and once again she ended up with a broken heart.

One day he said that enough was enough and never came to her again. She saw him with countless girls and wanted to say something but never could. After crying on Naruto's shoulder and finding the strength she found Sasuke and slapped him across the face and left without a word. From what she heard he just stood still for a couple of minutes before walking away.

Naruto didn't seem to understand or catch the fact that there was any kind of tension between Sasuke and Sakura. She had secretly prayed for him not to find out and begged Sasuke not to tell anyone. He promised that he wouldn't if she didn't hit him anymore. And from that moment on things became what they were now; they were all jounin now and had individual assignments, but they always had a drink with each other every now and then to exchange stories. But nothing ever became too personal. She talked to Sasuke like she always had, except now she didn't try to flirt with him and he didn't ignore her because she did. Naruto was just Naruto and made things seem everything seem so simple. He joked with Sasuke and kept improving his strength and would hold her hand when no one was looking.

Had she been 12 or even 16 she would have punched him into last week and not talk to him for a week or two. But things were different now, _she _was different. She let him hold her close when he hugged her, let his warmth consume her and let her fingers run through his hair. Maybe she was playing with fire, and maybe she let him on, but right now it didn't matter; she just needed to get out and have fun tonight.

* * *

When she made it to the pub Ino, Shikamaru and Tenten were already there. Sakura laughed a little and walked towards the group. They greeted her and offered her drinks and good times. They laughed for what seemed hours. She smiled politely to familiar faces and drank to her hearts contend. It wasn't until she'd danced with Ino three times that the other guys showed up.

Chouji, Kiba, Sasuke, Neji and Naruto walked into the pub and while supporting each other. They were all drunk and somehow Tenten and Neji disappeared, Ino was all over Sasuke and Shikamaru and Chouji started eating peanuts and talked. She kept dancing though, no need to stop, no need to stop the rhythm from the music, no need to slow down or even dance with anyone. While she danced she felt Sasuke's eyes on her more times than she could count. She threw her hair around and let her dress fly and let her head spin.

Suddenly someone grabbed her waist and held her tightly.

"You should calm down Sakura-chan, not all the men in here are single," a familiar and somewhat off voice said. She spun around to find Naruto starring at her, his eyes were big and she wanted to run her fingers through his hair again. He looked as though he was having an internal struggle about something. She touched his face and then threw her arms around his neck.

"Let's sit down… Let's just… No one's over there," he said with a shaky voice and let her over to the back of the pub where the smoke was heavy and the music was loud, though not as much as it was on the main part. When they found a seat she leaned against him.

"I didn't mean to get this drunk. It just happened. I should cool down…" She said and hugged him. He tensed and she felt him hitch his breath.

"HEY NARUTO!" Someone yelled over the music and made them both sit up. Kiba showed up with Chouji by his side and in one swift motion he was lying on their table.

"Did you hear? Tenten's leaving tonight and we have to give her something!" He slurred out and managed to grab Naruto by the collar of his shirt.

"I know Kiba, that's why we gave her a new weapon and bough Neji a pack of condoms," Naruto said without letting go of Sakura.

"Why the fuck don't I remember it then?!" Kiba yelled and threw his arms up in the air. Sakura shut her eyes and tried not to think about something other than the two men bickering. She got up and went straight to the bar and bought a bottle of something that smelled and tasted wonderful.

It became blurry, but she danced with Ino again, kissed Kiba in the cheek, hugged Chouji, wished Tenten well and sat on Naruto's lap. He nuzzled her hair, kissed her forehead, talked to her without words and held her close. She touched his neck and kissed the spot between his ear and neck. She giggled when he placed his hands on her thighs and get is fingers make random circles. She leaned in and bit his ear. He squished her thigh and let his fingers play with the fabric of her dress. 

She purred and bit his neck. His fingers moved up her legs. _You're playing with fire, _inner Sakura lectured. But it didn't matter. He smelled good and she was dizzy. He lifted her up and mumbled the words '_we need to leave'_ or something like that. She let him carry her away and just enjoyed the feeling of being carried around like a child. They said, or yelled because of the loud music, goodbye to everyone and Sakura hugged Tenten tightly and wished her well.

* * *

Soon they were out in the night. He still held her in his arms and she laughed a bit when he almost fell over a rock.

"Sorry Sakura-chan but you're too heavy for me to carry around," he said and shot her a toothy grin. She hit his arm playfully and almost fell out of his arms.

"Wanna run to my place?" She said and he grinned at her request. So they ran around Konoha for an hour or two until she was too exhausted to move her legs. He swung her over his shoulder and spun around. She laughed and when she was so dizzy that his spiky blond hair became snakes she closed her eyes. He laughed at her and ran fast towards her apartment and poked her whenever she was dozing of.

"Oi Sakura-chan… Oi Sakura-chan… OI SAKURA-CHAN!" He yelled when she fell asleep. She woke up and looked into his blue eyes that seemed like the deep blue sea in the moonlight.

"You need to wake up, we're almost at your place now," he said while looking disappointed and somewhat hurt.

"Are you okay Naruto?" She asked and touched his cheek lovingly. He looked at her hand and touched her hand and shook his head.

"Nah I'm just fine. I think I need to get you home before you fall asleep on the ground," he smiled but it looked forced and his eyes were filled with an emotion she didn't know what was.

"All right, but will you walk me home?" She said and pointed at the door that lead up to the stairs. He nodded and put his arm around her waist to keep her steady.

"I'm getting sober," she suddenly said and started walking up the stairs, he held onto her and they laughed a bit at her clumsiness.

Naruto was the only person she'd want to help her up her stairs when she was drunk, tired or hurt. He didn't make her feel bad for being in the state she was, he just comforted her and told her that there was only fifteen steps back and that she looked beautiful to him, but that last part always came out in a whisper. She'd always thank than him and tell him that she was glad he was here. Usually he'd have a slight blush, a big grin, small eyes and say 'Sakuraaa-chan', with such an innocence that she wanted to kiss him.

That had become a problem lately. She let him touch her more, let him tell her nice things, let his warmth and comfort surround her and keep her safe. She knew deep down in her heart that this was his way of being friendly with her, but somehow it felt like more… She couldn't put the right word on it. But at times, mostly when they'd gone to get a drink he'd place his hand on her lap and encouraged her to sit on his. She knew he only did this when they were alone, with no one around and with a sake bottle next to them. She let him get this close, because she knew he would never intentionally hurt her. They were 20 years old, he'd had one night stands and she knew that at some point he had a girlfriend who he went to see for a good time. But she never told him, and never would, about her fling with Sasuke. As much as she loved Sasuke, she loved Naruto more, so much that she wouldn't break his naive fantasies.

They made it up to her apartment and she found her key.

"Well thank you for walking me home Naruto," she said and brushed his hair away from his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. She smiled and removed her hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Naruto," she said and turned to open the door. She was stopped by his arms as they wrapped around her waist and his head resting in the crook of her neck.

"Don't… Please don't go, not yet anyway," he said pleading, needy and so sad that her heart felt as though it was about to break. She turned around and looked into his eyes with concern. He looked like a mess, tired, wiry, sad and just plain miserable.

"Naruto what's wrong?" Was the only thing she could say, before he forced her into a tight embrace. She held onto him as his grip tightened so hard he'd leave bruises.

"N-Naruto?" She whispered though she had meant for it to come out stronger. He didn't speak but slid his hands down her arms and looked down at the floor. She touched his shoulder and tried her best to comfort him in this… awkward situation he was going through.

"Sakura-chan," he said with his very serious voice and he fixed his eyes on her. She was startled but not as startled as when he grabbed her again. This time she knew what to do, smack him, let him hit the wall, let him walk away with a broken nose.

But she wasn't expecting him to kiss her. Rough, tenderly, loving all the things she thought he'd be. She had her eyes open, he had his closed. He kept kissing and only when he touched her bottom lip with his tongue, did she close her eyes. He pushed her against her door and let his hands travel over her body.

She kissed him back and let herself get lost in the feeling of everything.

He pushed himself closer to her body and pulled away for air. He was panting and didn't look nearly as tired as he did just seconds ago.

"Sakura-chan," he panted and started biting her earlobe. She shuddered but ached into his touch. As if he knew what she was thinking he kissed her lips again.

She was dizzy and spinning around, it felt real and she felt so good. Naruto broke the kiss and stared at her and touched her forehead with his. It was then she became aware of how close they were, how the light was out, how the sounds in the night were none-existing and who wrong it felt.

He leaned down to kiss her but she backed away. She was still dizzy but something in her mind told her, that she was doing the right thing.

"I… I have to get inside now… Umm goodnight Naruto," she said and closed her door quickly and leaving a very confused Naruto outside.


End file.
